Random Observations

Spring is in the air …

•        How does Moses make tea?   Hebrews it.

•        Venison for dinner again?   Oh deer!

•        A cartoonist was found dead in his home.  Details are sketchy.

•        I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

•        Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.

•        England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

•        I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

•        They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Typo.

•        I changed my iPad’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.

•        Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

•        I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.

•        I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.

•        This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.

•        When chemists die, they barium.

•        I’m reading a book about anti-gravity.  I just can’t put it down.

•        I did a theatrical performance about puns.  It was a play on words.

•        I didn’t like my beard at first.  Then it grew on me.

•        Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils?

•        When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

•        Broken pencils are pointless.

•        What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?  A thesaurus.

•       I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

•       All the toilets in New York’s police stations have been stolen.  The police have nothing to go on.

•       I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

•        Velcro – what a rip off!

•         Don’t worry about old age; it doesn’t last.


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